Witty joke about seeing the future, assertion that my unfounded opinion is fact, topical joke. Go.Arsenal v Blackburn
Gaffer’s head on stake, would not please the fans enough, despite this success.
Norwich v Bolton
All clad in yellow, two huge waves break with a sigh, as white cliffs stand firm.
QPR v Wolves
New signings gelling, Cisse’s hair dyed blue-and-white, leads to victory.
Stoke v Sunderland
Beauty in football, an alien concept here, stops viewers’ pleasure.
West Brom v Swansea
Lower mid-table, safety assured for today, football is winner.
Wigan v Everton
As tumbleweed blows, through deserted stadium, both teams lose nil-nil.
Man City v Fulham
Clint Dempsey: Hero, just watch in futility, as City score five.
Newcastle v Aston Villa
Both Dembas miss goal, as our striped blushes are spared, by Ben Arfa, God.
Chelsea v Man Utd
Torres prays Oh Lord, not a repeat of last time, wish granted on bench.
Liverpool v Tottenham
Andy Carroll’s success, from before is forgotten, as Bale scores hat-trick.