24/01/2012 – Dyslexics 14 – 1 South Road Stonkers. League defence gets underway.

After their demolition of this same competition last term, many pundits were questioning whether Dyslexics Untied could possibly repeat their domination. The answer, in case the score hasn’t given it away, is probably.

In a reshuffled league that featured three new teams (including Shirtlifters FC, who recorded a surprising victory over last year’s runners-up No Fixture), there were no certainties heading in to the game, as Dyslexics are nothing if not respectful. However, it turned out the champions needn’t have worried, as an average South Road outfit were put to the sword in a match that included Sam F’s 100th Dyslexics goal, a momentous achievement.

An expensive tribute.

The game featured a nervy start, with possession changing hands frequently. However, once Dyslexics had established a 3-0 lead the result was never really in doubt, with Sam and George dominating the SRS defence and Tim having a sensational game in goal.

Sam quickly notched up the three goals he needed to take his total to 99 but then, like Sachin Tendulkar, choked, missing three or four gilt-edged chances. However, with Sam the only certainty is that he’ll score again, and score again he did, burying a beautiful finish and unveiling an “I belong to Cheez-Its” t-shirt, an act that may result in a suspension for next week’s game. No-one could begrudge him his moment though, as even I have lost count of the number of times he’s won us points (I haven’t, it’s 6 times).

Overshadowing even Sam in this game was Tim, who gave an irresistible performance in net, making save after save and even keeping one shot out with his face. No blame could be attached to him for SRS’ consolation goal, and his first-class shot stopping allowed attack after attack to be quickly launched.

If he keeps up his form so far it is only a matter of if, not when, George joins Sam on 100 goals, and this game featured his standard score 5, hit the woodwork 5 times routine, which is getting rather dull. Both Moo and Andy were sensationally unlucky not to score, and their hard work made the imposing scoreline possible.

Ben, sporting a ridiculous 3/4 length tracksuit bottoms tucked into knee-high socks combo,  had a performance involving the words “ridiculous half-volley shot”, “delightful finish” and “leggings”, or at least those are the words he told me. He was his usual composed self at the back and was twice able to stride forwards and score a couple of cracking goals.

Ben shoulder to shoulder with an SRS attacker.

My main achievement was not taking anyone out.

All in all a comforting result, and one that bodes well for next week.

Scorers: Sam F (7), George (5), Ben (2)

Goal of the Game: This should go to Sam’s 100th, but I can’t remember it. Instead I’ll give it to the four easy chances he spurned before that, all of which are etched in my memory.


About Dave

I'm not biased, I hate every team, and often the sport itself.
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