In a new manner of post that I would probably describe as half meta-humour, half being incredibly lazy when it comes to thinking up new blog ideas, and the rest being pure inspiration, Goalposts for Goalposts presents coverage of Saturday’s BBC Football Live Text as it happened.
1210: Hello and welcome to Goalposts for Goalposts’ live coverage of today’s exciting BBC Live Text, as we watch Chris Bevan work the keyboard for today’s fixtures.
1213: A tough set of games today, with four of the top five playing tomorrow there’s a lot of pressure riding on Chelsea’s early game against Norwich to provide some entertainment. It’ll also be interesting to see how Bevan keeps interest in traditionally very dull fixtures such as Wolves vs Aston Villa.
1230: A lazy start from Chris. The last twenty minutes has been all quotes from other BBC pundits/reporters, the lad’s going to have to up his work rate if he’s planning to keep going until half seven.
1240: Better from our reporter as he plants the seeds for a couple of topics that should keep developing throughout the afternoon, as well as his views on both managers involved in the early game. He just lets himself down a bit at the end with a slightly desperate plea for Twitter interaction, perhaps a sign that he’s going to be relying on other people’s views a lot this afternoon.
1300: Running a live text on only one game can be a thankless task at times, and Bevan does seem to be stuttering a little, although interestingly he’s using a lot more text input from fans than Twitter, a sign that perhaps he isn’t as comfortable with the popular Social Networking site as other Live Texters such as Sam Lyon?
1313: Poor bit of formatting as Bevan fails to insert the proscribed line break between a piece of commentary and a cutting fan criticism of Stoke manager Tony Pulis. The lad’s confidence seems to have taken a knock, and he’s going to have to pick himself up if he’s to make it through the afternoon.
1332: And pick himself up he has with two graphics in the space of five minutes. First a piece of insight from former Norwich boss Nigel Worthington lets Bevan slip in the Radio 5 Live graphic, and then the referee’s whistle signifies the introduction of the Half Time square that looks like a 5-year-old designed it in Paint.
1350: And Bevan’s made wise use of the half time break, allowing the individual match reporters to pick up most of the slack, and rounding off with a cheeky Jason Roberts tweet.
1433: The team lineups for the three o’ clock fixtures is a difficult time in any Live Text, and today hasn’t proved any different. Chris starts well with the Everton and Blackburn lineups, but all his hard work falls apart when it comes to the teams for the Stoke vs West Brom game. First he misses a simple bit of bold text for the team names, and then yet again fails to insert a line break afterwards. This is basic stuff, and you’d have thought after his earlier mistake that his captain would’ve had a word. Testing times for the reporter, and a lot is riding on how he responds to this.
1454: Sensible stuff from Bevan as he keeps it simple leading up to 3 pm, and at the moment it’s all about ensuring he doesn’t make any more mistakes. He keeps word count to a minimum, and only allows himself the briefest glimpse of flair as he inserts the club badges into the game previews.
1512: You don’t see that every day. A freak synchronisation between Seb Larsson and Scott Dann forces Bevan into a double use of the woodwork graphic. Fantastic improvisation, and that will have done his confidence wonders.
1604: Bevan drops in that he knows today is Alex McLeish’s 53rd birthday, and that’s clever. It’s always important in these types of Live Text to assert dominance over your readers, and it’s the little touches like that that allow this.
1620-1649: It won’t get much tougher than that. A horrible run of goals, penalties and red cards sends Bevan into overdrive. He copes well, but his frustration starts to show as he accidentally types “this is getting ridiculous…”. He’s going to have to cut out that sort of dissent or the officials will be having words.
1654: Newcastle have lost. Bollocks.
1715: The gap between the main bunch of games and the late kick off allows each Live Texter to let a bit of their personality shine through. Bevan is a professional though, and there’s no hint of what team he supports. If I had to place a bet, I’d say he professes to follow Cheltenham or another League Two side, but secretly holds a flame for Chelsea. It’s all guesswork though, Bevan won’t be announcing that any time soon.
1729: It’s moments like this that separate the men from the boys. Inexperienced match reporter Jamie Lilywhite makes a basic error regarding changes to the Liverpool team, but Bevan is quick to dive in and stop the problem snowballing, saving an almost certain instance of some insufferable prick texting in to point out the mistake. Sterling work there.
1734: Bolton score, and it’s a mixed bag from Bevan. Great description of the goal, but I do feel that he isn’t playing up the possible upset nature of this game enough. Bolton are shit and Liverpool are famous, and that’s something that he could use if he can just play a little bit smarter.
1800: He’s been going nearly six hours now, and it shows. With his earlier mistakes pressing on his mind, Bevan unfortunately inserts a double line break between the goal announcement and its description. You can see that he’s trying to make up for earlier, but it’s all too possible to overdo it.
1810: Clever work there. Chris uses a dull patch in the game to share John Arne Riise and Joey Barton’s views on their games, forcing their opinions on everyone who deliberately doesn’t follow them on Twitter.
1837: Gorgeous. Bevan knows that no-one is going to read the African Cup of Nations Live Text of their own volition, but that doesn’t stop him from giving a helping hand to poor Piers Edwards, who’s been handed that graveyard shift. Great teamwork there.
1952: Classic round-up. Bevan uses some stats from Infostrada to give him time to fit in the obligatory “oh isn’t the Premier League exciting?!” Tweet as well as the customary “joke” about putting his fingers on ice, because typing is so difficult…
1955: And that’s that. A bit of a mixed bag from Bevan today, but I think overall that’s a positive performance. Time to go and wrap a bag of frozen peas round my hand and then punch myself in the face for saying that.