Things To Hate About Football #1: Cameroon’s kits

Things all football shirts must have:

1) Coloured fabric covering the torso representing a club or nation.

2) Sleeves.

"Guys, d'you get the feeling something's missing?"

In a spectacular bout of hubris and ignorance, Cameroon’s shirt manufacturers Puma decided that decades of sartorial knowledge could be thrown out of the window in pursuit of making their clients look really fucking stupid. It was probably supposed to emphasise the “fun” nature of African football (try to read any preview of the upcoming African Cup of Nations that doesn’t include the words ‘flamboyant’, ‘enthusiastic’ and ‘tactically naive’). It ended up making them look ridiculous.

Naturally, they were forced to add sleeves before competing in any event people actually watched (the World Cup), although as far as I can see all they did was wrap duct tape round the players’ upper arms and hope no-one noticed.

Oh so shady.

Cameroon are at this sort of thing all the time. Their leotard/onesie for the 2004 Cup of Nations actually forced FIFA to step in and, for the only time ever, enforce their ‘Shirts and Shorts must be separate’ rule.

The awkward moment when you're holding hands with a man and his crotch bulge is bigger than yours.

Jesus Christ.


About Dave

I'm not biased, I hate every team, and often the sport itself.
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